rememberrbuckybarnes:

tauriel2fab4u:

tauriel2fab4u:

IM MAKING A PIE AND I ACCIDENTALLY PUT IODINE IN IT INSTEAD OF VANILLA EXTRACT

I ALMOST FED THIS PIE TO MY FAMILY
I WAS GOING TO FEED THIS PIE TO MY CLASSMATES

I WAS ABOUT TO MURDER PEOPLE THROUGH PIE

LIKE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PIE

image

DOESNT IT LOOK NICE

DONT YOU WANT TO EAT IT

TOO FUCKING BAD ITS POISONOUS YOU’LL DIE

HOW DO YOU MIX UP IODINE AND VANILLA EXTRACT

WHY DO YOU HAVE IODINE IN THE KITCHEN

WHY DO YOU HAVE IT AT ALL

WHY

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  • #text #funny text #good question
  • 1 day ago
  • 32109

dysphorism:

DO YOU EVER JUST

GET JEALOUS SO EASILY

LIKE NO 

THAT PERSON IS MINE

DON’T BREATHE AROUND THEM PLEASE AND THANK YOU

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  • 1 day ago
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  • #text #picture
  • 2 days ago
  • 460117

thephotogfeminist:

"Losing your Virginity" will henceforth be called "your sexual debut."

Because you’re not fucking losing anything.

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  • 2 days ago
  • 6101
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  • 2 days ago
  • 248817
  • Anonymoustell us your most embarrassing story
  • jesusinc

    So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

  • Picking a name is hard

    jesusinc:

    image

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  • #funny text #text
  • 2 days ago
  • 131199

sirdef:

sirdef:

sirdef:

i did that adult thing you can do where you buy an entire cake and just eat it

i am eating an entire cake

update: there is more cake than i imagined. 

i see now why my parents didn’t let me do this

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  • #text #funny text
  • 2 days ago
  • 141727

drochfaol:

ryancrobert:

sexybritishllama:

no cough syrup

you are not ‘grape flavoured’

have you ever tasted a grape

you taste like death and the tears of small children

not fucking grape

wow what a surprise another cis-gendered white upper-middle class american male telling someone what they can and cannot identify as. why don’t you go fuck yourself

#i can no longer tell what is and isn’t a joke on tumblr any more

It’s social media; pretend it’s all a joke and laugh.

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  • 2 days ago
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  • #picture #funny picture
  • 2 days ago
  • 363
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  • #text #funny text
  • 2 days ago
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